“I looked in the mirror, and I saw somebody worth saving.”
- Anthony Bourdain
Anthony Bourdain was someone that I admired deeply, as it seemed that he “had it all.” He made a living traveling the world, exploring different cultures, eating incredible food, and meeting with some of the world’s most engaging people. How could you not be happy in that sort of life? What could be missing?
The quote above is something that Bourdain said when he reflected on his times of severe heroin addiction. He was working for a low wage in the back of a kitchen, washing dishes, and felt like he had nothing. But upon looking in the mirror, he realized that even his life was worth saving.
For me, the irony of Bourdain’s eventual suicide is in the fact that he killed himself when he had become a famous television personality, chef, and world traveler. Why was that man not worth saving?
I was very torn up after hearing of his suicide. I thought to myself, “If even my role model—the man that has everything I want out of this life—is not happy, how can I ever be?”
The truth is, he may not have been happy in his own life. I do not mean to comment on all suicides or even this case. I am just questioning if what led Anthony on the road to addiction, depression, and ultimately suicide was dissatisfaction with the life that he built for himself. So many people would have killed to be in the position that he was in, but he would die to be out of it.
I am not suicidal, nor have I ever had such dark thoughts. If you have, know that your life is worth more than anything even though it may not feel that way now. No amount of money, love, hate, or sadness can ever depress the value of time on this earth, but we need to value our time in that way.
Often, when you feel like there is no other hope, it is important to remember the limited time that we have on earth. Take advantage of every second of it. Love the people that you love. Do the things that drive you. Enjoy the moment. Try to get rid of all of the rest.